


My Heart is Like a Zoo

by cruelest_month



Series: Kid Loki [3]
Category: Journey into Mystery, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Family, Fluff, Future Fic, Gen, Kid Fic, Kid Loki, M/M, Zoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-30
Updated: 2012-06-30
Packaged: 2017-11-08 20:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/447393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruelest_month/pseuds/cruelest_month
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After jogging doesn't play out the way that Clint or Loki would have liked, Phil takes them both to the zoo. (Loki is 2.5 years old)</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Heart is Like a Zoo

Tony had taken one look at Loki’s plum-colored stroller and then had wheeled it away for a few hours. It returned looking relatively the same but apparently Tony had added quite a bit to it.

“I’ve added a few monitors and a communications device to the handlebar console. And now the hand brake can be voice activated by any member of the team but not by Loki. And there’s a weather shield that gets deployed if you press the little button with the hammer on it. Most of the features aren’t bad but I added a Kevlar weave to the fabric and the whole thing is fireproof. And I got you better tires. And spinning rims.”

Clint blinked a bit, eying the stroller uncertainly. “Thanks. I think.”

“I thought of scraping this thing altogether and making you a new one that was more like a Swiss Army stroller. So it could turn into a rocket pack or a grenade launcher. But Jarvis refused to cooperate. He said you paid like five hundred dollars for this. Is that true?”

Clint rolled his eyes. “I don’t really think a price tag can be put on Loki’s well-being. Besides, I liked its features and it got a good safety rating. And I liked the color selection.”

“Yeah but… five hundred dollars…”

“It’s so I can take Loki with me when I go jogging.”

Tony’s lips quirked up. Then he crossed his arms. “Look. You need to come to me for all your monetary needs. Seriously. Pepper is already going to kick my ass as it is. I’m pretty sure this thing was on your registry not so long ago and that I was supposed to buy it for you.”

“I’m not your problem. Or your charity case.”

Tony’s expression hardened then softened. “Geez, Clint. Is that how I make you feel?”

“No just…” Clint sighed. “I hate money.”

“That’s fine but how about loving what it can buy and letting me help out?” Tony suggested. “You’re my friend. I know you’re one of those people who thinks helping out is me going jogging with you then pushing Loki on the swings at the park… But until I ace Coulson’s test, all I can do is throw money at you.”

Tony reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a check. He unwrinkled it a bit then placed it into Clint’s hand. “So this is me throwing money at you because you’re my friend and that kid deserves more toys.”

“Tony…”

“I’m willing to never speak of this again _if_ you just take the money now and don’t make a big scene. Or tell Steve.”

Clint sighed knowing full well that if he didn’t take the check, the exact amount on it would end up in the swear jar. And Loki probably would need more clothes or toys or books soon.

He gave the check to Phil when he presented the stroller to both his fiancé and their son. Then Phil said he needed to perform some very unnecessary checks to the brakes, tire pressure, the GPS, and the alarm system before he was willing to accept that Stark’s tinkering was a help and not a hindrance.

After watching him pull out a tire gauge and a small notebook, Clint decided he was done with adults for a while. He scooped up Loki and got him ready for bed.

“We’re going jogging tomorrow,” he said as he checked on the bath water before putting Loki gently into the tub. “Whether your father likes the stroller or not.”

“Outside?”

“Yup. Then we’ll go to the park and visit the birds. Maybe see some squirrels.”

“And otters?”

“No, but maybe we’ll see some dogs.”

Loki frowned. “And monkeys?”

“The only monkeys there are gonna be you and me,” Clint teased. “But maybe we can find a small tree to climb.”

Loki smiled. “Climb with daddy.”

“Uh huh. And what else do you wait for daddy before doing?”

Loki tilted his head thoughtfully. “Cross streets?”

“Smart kid. Now close your eyes so I can wash your hair, okay?”

“Okay.”

-

In the morning, Clint followed the check-list he’d made with Phil for what had to be done before Loki went outside. Chief among those things was Brush Teeth and Put On Sunscreen.

Loki was much more interested in using Clint’s arms as a jungle gym but eventually he agreed to stand still.

“Okay, just a bit more. Then we wait fifteen minutes. Then we’ve got basically two hours before that stuff wears off so no more delays,” Clint insisted.

Loki nodded.

Once he was in the stroller and realized he was going to go fairly fast, Loki was pretty happy. Towards the end of the jog, Clint finally gave in to the kid’s demand and went much faster.

Before looking for birds or a good tree, Clint gave Loki something to drink and took a moment to down some water. Then he glanced around, noting that several people were staring at them. Not exactly in a creepy way. More in a sort of middle school way given the waves he got from two women and one guy.

Clint reminded himself that he had to set a good example for his son so he just waved back and pushed the stroller to the other end of the park.

There weren’t many birds but they found a nice tree. Clint carried Loki up to one of the larger branches and read a picture book before bringing him back down again.

Then some jackass took a picture of them, and before Clint could use the picture book to knock the guy’s smart phone out of his hands, Phil got the guy in a sleeper hold.

Lacking any real awareness of what the big deal was, Loki just made a happy sound upon seeing Phil.

Clint didn’t feel inclined to join the toddler in being overjoyed since he wasn’t exactly sure where Phil had come from or why Phil was there. The reasons seemed innocent enough given that Phil was dressed for jogging, but it was still annoying. In an effort to avoid being outdone completely, Clint decided he could help out a little bit and smashed the phone under the tires of his five hundred dollar stroller.

“I’m going to have to ask you to go away,” Phil said once the guy was sprawled out on the concrete. “But just so we’re clear? If you ever come here again? If I ever so much as think you’ve been in this park for half a second? I will find where you live and I will have you dealt with.”

“I took one lousy picture.”

“And if you don’t leave,” Phil said in a mild tone, “I’ll take your lousy life.”

The guy got up, scowling. “Weirdest freakin’ people in this town,” he muttered as he hurried away.

“I had this,” Clint insisted, brandishing the picture book before tucking it away in one of the pockets in the stroller. “I was going to deal with this all on my own.”

Loki squirmed a bit until Clint set him down and let him run over to Phil.

“I know you had this,” Phil murmured as he bent down to kiss Loki’s cheek. “Originally I just thought I’d join you. Then I just happened to notice that idiot snapping pictures. I have a feeling he works for the press. SHIELD will deal with him instead of the Avengers.”

Clint scowled a bit. “That’s great, but you’re such a showoff. I totally had this.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Phil insisted, looking sheepish. “It’s just… I can’t help myself sometimes.”

Clint scowled a bit longer then relented. “You’re just lucky that I love it when you go all T-1000 on people.”

“For all the wrong reasons.”

“Obviously,” Clint agreed.

“Father,” Loki said, tugging on Phil’s arm.

“Yes, Loki?”

Loki took a moment to figure out what he wanted to say. Then: “We climbed a tree. A small tree.”

Phil laughed. “Very nice. Did you see any birds?”

“Yes,” Loki sadly replied. “Many birds.”

Phil gave Clint a questioning look.

Clint chuckled. “He was hoping for otters and monkeys.”

“Ah.” Phil turned back to Loki. “Well… Daddy’s sort of like a monkey.”

“No,” Loki said, giving Phil a disappointed look. “Bad.”

Clint grinned.

Phil smiled at both of them. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I guess we’ll just have to go to the zoo.”

-

Phil insisted they needed two weeks before deciding where to go and what to do. He spent a lot of time pouring over zoo maps and seeing which animals would actually be available. Prioritizing wasn’t something that could be left up to a toddler, but Phil did make sure to at least get a sense of what Loki wanted to see. Even if that had a tendency to change right along with Loki’s mood.

Clint’s job was to keep Loki enthusiastic about the idea, which meant zoo songs and zoo stories. After, of course, he looked at the animal list and memorized what was and wasn’t on it. They didn’t want Loki to get excited about animals he wouldn’t be able to see.

They’d also practiced using a ring sling. The stroller wasn’t going to work out well when it came to Loki getting a good look at anything let alone all the animals he was all but dying to get to stare at. Loki hadn’t been too keen on the idea of being in a sling until he figured out that it was just another way to be held. Then he seemed to like it a lot.

“We should avoid the gift shop,” Phil said the night before their trip and after yawning for about ten minutes straight. Loki had been a hard sell in terms of sleep. He had required several grasshopper picture books. And an otter one after that. “Unless we want to buy Loki things.”

Clint tugged off his shirt and aimed himself towards the bed before sinking onto the mattress. “We want to buy him things.”

Phil stretched out next to him. “Yes, but gift shops are full of nonsense and stuffed animals. He loves stuffed animals. And if he has a tantrum—”

“We’ll go to the gift shop last. Trust me; he’ll be completely worn out by then. He’s going to flip out when he sees monkeys and otters. So let’s just get him whatever. He only gets one first trip to the zoo and he’s such a good kid and… What’s that look about?”

“What look?”

“The dreamy, smitten look you’ve got on your face.”

Phil smiled and leaned in to kiss Clint’s cheek. “You’re an adorable dad.”

“You’re pretty cute too,” Clint said, tugging Phil closer until Phil was on top of him.

“Maybe,” Phil said, kissing Clint again. “I just love watching you with him. Or staring at you when you’re talking about him.”

Clint laughed. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I love every minute of it. And I love you.”

“I love you too,” Clint said, petting Phil’s cheek. “You absolute dope. I didn’t think you were that into us having a kid.”

“I wasn’t. Then my dad had to hand Loki to you and I was doomed.”

Clint laughed and then grinned when Phil bit at his neck. “Doomed to what? Finding my parenting prowess to be a major turn-on?”

“Most of what you do is a major turn-on for me.”

“You’re just easily impressed.”

“I’m actually very picky,” Phil corrected. “I know what I want and I aim to keep it.”

“You can have me. Right now if you want. But first you have to promise to let me tackle the next douchebag we meet on my own.”

“Deal,” Phil said and sealed his promise with another kiss.

-

Loki was close to bouncing off the walls or passing out from sheer relief by the time they actually headed out for the zoo. Animals at the zoo tended to be more active either in the morning or the evening so they were going in the late afternoon since that would cut down on the time they’d have to spend re-applying sunscreen.

All the same, they brought sunscreen. They also brought the necessary baby supplies, a stroller, a leash they weren’t entirely keen on using, and the bright green wrap that made up the sling. Phil had packed and re-packed everything about eight times. Then double-checked everything another eight times. And he’d been really eager to be in charge of the camera.

On the ride there, Clint sat in the back with Loki. From the driver’s seat, Phil reviewed the animals they’d be seeing much to Loki’s anxious delight. Then they listened to some Baby Mozart and Baby Beethoven. Clint pretended he didn’t mind it and Phil hummed along with it since he liked classical music regardless of what instrument it was played on.

Clint had to admit he was worried everything at the zoo would prove to be a major letdown, but Loki was pretty much beside himself the whole time. His green eyes were pretty much wide with wonder throughout the afternoon and evening.

They spent a lot of time near the polar bears with Loki staring at them and laughing happily at how cold their habitat was. Then they went to the petting zoo which Loki loved because all the animals were friendly. And he got to pet some rabbits and a hedgehog.

The monkeys in Loki’s imagination were apparently much more interesting than the monkeys they saw. He declared them to be okay, but he got a kick out of the elephants and giraffes. And Loki was, unsurprisingly, the world’s biggest fan of the otters.

Clint switched from the sling to the leash to keep Loki from dislocating his shoulder as he bounced around.

Once he was on the ground, Loki was well-behaved enough not to bang on the glass. He just seemed to feel every move the otters made required very epic sound effects and he provided them in spades.

“Little ones,” he said, pointing to some baby otters after they’d been there for about half an hour.

“They’re called pups,” Phil helpfully supplied. “Or kits.”

“Pup goes home?”

“He is home, Loki.”

Loki frowned then tried again. “Pup goes… _Our_ home?”

“I think the pup would be sad without his daddy or his mommy.”

“Kit goes home?”

Clint did his best not to laugh because as much as Loki’s shrewd negotiation tactics amused him, he had a feeling Phil wouldn’t appreciate Clint being no help at all.

Phil shook his head. “That’s the same thing as a pup, sweetheart. And kits need their parents.”

“That one, father. That one goes home?” Loki said pointing to the largest otter.

“What about his family?”

“He’s old.”

Phil smiled and rested a hand on Loki’s hair. “Old otters love their families just as much as young otters do.”

Loki sniffled. “But. _Otters_.”

“I know,” Phil said. “It’s hard.”

Loki gave him a sour look then trotted over to Clint. “Otter goes home. Please?”

Clint picked Loki up, putting him back in the sling. Phil took care of the leash. In the meantime, Clint snuggled his son who seemed very conflicted in terms of his emotions. “An otter would be pretty miserable at our place, baby.”

“Why?”

“Because your father’s right. Otters need lots of water and otter friends. Otters need to stay with their families.”

Loki sniffled again, but he seemed to be doing a pretty good job of not crying. For a toddler anyway.

Clint wiped at Loki’s cheek and kissed his hair. Then he said: “I guess you could have an otter if you wanted one instead of me. Would that be okay? Daddy lives here? Otter goes home?”

Loki wrapped his arms around Clint’s neck. “No.”

“No?”

“No. Daddy goes home.”

“Well, all right then. Maybe we can find a really nice otter toy at the gift shop. She could be friends with your horsie.”

“Sleipnir.”

Clint frowned. “Sleipnir? Isn’t that—”

Phil made a face that indicated concern and that an explanation needed to wait for later.

“Um. Nice,” Clint finished somewhat lamely. “Let’s say goodbye to the otters. Then we’ll go visit a few more friends before the gift shop.”

Loki waved sadly to the otters. He was willing to look at other animals, but he stayed with Clint instead of going in for a closer inspection. Loki also continued to give Phil the cold shoulder since he felt that Phil had been much meaner than Clint.

Phil seemed a bit dismayed, but not all that surprised.

“What if he’d agreed to trade you in for an otter?” Phil asked when they were in the gift shop and all the colorful things around them were distracting Loki. “Or said he’d be willing to part with me? I think he’s mad at me.”

Clint gave Phil a hug. “Aw. Loki’s not that mad at you and he wouldn’t trade you in for an otter. The only person I could see him saying yes about is Uncle Tony.”

Phil chuckled.

“But for the most part, he’s not that kind of kid. He just thinks animals are awesome and therefore they all should live at our house.”

“I know, but you said the same thing I said. Right after I said it.”

“Yeah, but I doubt he sees it that way. I mean, he’s only two and a half.”

“There is that.”

Loki wanted the whole store, really. He brought one of every animal over with a determined look on his face since most of the toys were bigger than he was. In the end, Loki was willing to settle for a blue otter, a purple butterfly, and a very green snake.

“You can get all three if I get a hug,” Phil decided.

Loki thought that was pretty amusing and gave Phil the hug he wanted. Then insisted on “Up.” He dozed off with his head against Phil’s shoulder while they bought all three.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the beta, fangirlSevera! The title of this fic comes from an [adorable picture book](http://www.amazon.com/My-Heart-Is-Like-Zoo/dp/0061915106) where all of the animals are made out of lots of hearts.


End file.
